Eleventh

Maybe if I tell myself enough
Maybe if I do
I'll get over you
Maybe if I tell myself enough
Maybe if I do
I'll get all over
You

- Ingrid Michaelson 

Pause

1. Appreciative 

- I'm glad that there are still people who appreciate whatever I do for them, however, it just gets me so annoyed when there are some people in my life that just so oblivious about everything and honestly I know whether you are appreciative cause I can see it from your actions. But still, I haven't left them because we are friends for a reason and yeah just got to suck it up. 

2. Judgemental

- Ok, come on, when someone says that they don't judge someone I kinda feel that they're not being honest and well because everyone judges. Whether you are judging them for a good reason or a bad reason either way it's being judgemental. Face it, we're not perfect and that's okay at least we're being real.

3) Love/ Relationships

- Well, as much as I want to be with someone in my life, it's really important to choose the right one for myself. Yes there are definitely times that I feel that I needed someone but I realised that I'll feel that way for a while and then a while later I don't feel anything at all. I can described it as like getting used to the loneliness HAHAHHA not saying that I'm like some desperate person that requires attention but yeah what I can say is that don't feel that loneliness is a bad thing because it's during the time when you're lonely that you'll discover yourself more. A relationship is not all about needing each other every single every second, questioning who they are with etc it's all about maintaining the connection and trust between each other even without seeing each other for long. And most importantly, putting in the equal effort to make things work. 

4. Goals

- Honestly, my biggest goal is now to be happier than before. Not saying I'm not a happy person I'm kinda thankful that I came so far as a person and been through enough to see the society much clearer than 2-3 year ago. It feels like I've grown so much and I'm really contented for the new people that have came into my life. Even times when I feel down, I'm so glad that I've found out things I can do to make myself much happier and occupied. Sometimes occupying your self with things can make you much happier especially things that are meaningful because that's when you feel that you have thoroughly made use of the day and you will feel extremely accomplished. Turning 21 can be quite the fear but I'll write about my expectation upon 21 in another post cause this post gonna be too long and no one gonna have time to read so long..

Well, today has been hell of a day some things are just not going right, Macbook giving me problems.. Just needed to tak a ride to my fav secret place to chill alone and write this blogpost out. Hope everyone is doing well, see ya soon :)